collectsfeathers | ∞ For Noctis

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∞ For Noctis

Redamncy
(n); The act of loving the one that loves you. A love fully returned.

[Ezio's office on April 30th gets a visit. In the middle of the night. Around 11:50 pm when no one's around. The window rattles a bit but doesn't break, Noctis managing to open it. How? Don't ask, it's a secret. Though it's not hard to guess how he managed to climb this high up either. One day, Ezio will regret training him.

He leaves a letter on Ezio's table, and it kinda stands out because the table is nice and pristine. But he doesn't linger around- he doesn't want to be caught and get Ezio into trouble. The Master assassin will find it there in the morning when he arrives. The contents of the letter are as follow:]

Ezio

Before you jump to any conclusions, this letter does not bring bad news. Well, at least I hope so? I definitively didn’t write it with that intention, that’s for sure. As to why I wrote it- I had a lot on my mind as of late, I guess. And the amount of it just prevents me to type it out in a text on the device. And before you say “You can just talk to me”, I need to remind you that I am sometimes (most of the time) very incapable of voicing my thoughts. Unless things are painfully pointed out, I am bad at bringing them up. I suppose this is a bad side of mine.

First of all, wow did we get together on a bad date. 31st of March. One yes- it’s already been a month, two- this is just one step away at being the worst. Weddings, birthdays and anniversaries on a leap year take the first place. This takes second.

And this is why I sneaked this letter in your office on 30th. Right between 11:50pm and 00:10am.

Ever since we got together, I’ve been spending a lot of time on the beach, thinking about things. About everything- that happened and will happen. This place feels like both a dream and a nightmare at the same time. But above it all, I met you here. And that goes unlisted because I’m

I’m... different around you.

Things had always changed for me. People changing their attitude the moment they hear who I am. The moment they see me walk down the street or enter a room. Their talking and posture changes. And as I grew, their expectations changed. They became more clear and bigger, growing day after day. And amidst it all, I felt pretty much stuck. Following one Princely routine after another. People changed, words and voices changed everything except me. Even when I arrived here, brought from the depths of the Crystal, I felt like only the scenery was replaced for me. Something new the Astrals gave me to deal with. Another trial to swallow down to prove that I’m worthy because taking everything away from me already wasn’t enough.

Then I met you. Is it stupid that I remember the date? I can believe I’m actually that sentimental. Learned a new thing about myself.
March 2nd.

We talked beforehand about the Brotherhood, but we properly met then. At that formal event. I have no clue what happened that night. Except for the... more obvious things. I’m not joking when I say that I still keep the picture. I remember feeling high on courage when it was handed to me at the door. And you went along with it, even though I fully expected you’d turn me away.

From then, everything seems to have spiraled out of control.
I am not the type of person that laughs a lot, but I laugh around you. I am extremely lazy in the mornings, yet now I actually try to get out of bed before nine. I despise vegetables, but I’m giving a pass on a few of them these last few weeks, without any complaints. But I do complain when I have to leave your bed or couch and end up missing your cuddles. That’s just not fair.

This might seem like something normal, basic. But for me, it’s not. Because I don’t change. I am not expected to change. I’m supposed to remain poker-faced, very hard to read Prince/King so that any and all negotiations I have can go in my favor. To not show any weaknesses.

So I am incredibly happy that I met you.

I plan to leave the cat cafe soon and do something more serious. I don’t know what yet, but I’ll come around it soon enough. Somewhere where I could make a little bit of an impact. I can’t just sit down, play and watch while everyone else is doing the heavy lifting.

In the meantime, I’ll fish up a storm on the dock and daydream. I mean, isn’t that what cats do the best?
I’ll probably still be down at the beach by the time you finish reading this. Join me if you have time. If not, I’ll see you a bit later.

Yours,

[Sometime during the morning hours of May Third, Noctis - or more importantly, Noctis' room - is going to get a visitor. One who doesn't bother using the front door, but instead chooses to come in through the windows. Everything about it is completely silent, with not even the fabric of his clothing making even the softest noise.

Left behind will be a parcel wrapped in white tissue paper and wrapped in a bright red ribbon. Within is a particular piece of of clothing. Resting on top is a letter, with Noctis' name scrawled across the front.]

How can I begin to put into words what you have come to mean to me? Each morning that I wake with you by my side feels as if another piece of my heart has been mended. And when you are not there I long for you, missing feeling your heart beat against my own. You have become everything so quickly, it is as if you are the love that I have waited for my entire life. Each moment with you is a gift that I do not deserve.

You are my king, the one who my heart chose to rule it. But you are also Noctis, the man who I have fallen for so deeply.

I will always be there for you - as your mentor, to guide you through this, to aid you in fulfilling this dream of becoming one of us, of the brotherhood. As your friend, a shoulder for you to lean on when you are feeling weak and tried. As a lover, to hold you up when it seems as though you can take no more. To love you and to honor you with each breath that I take.

I am not good with these things, with feelings and with relationships. But with you, it feels effortless as if it was meant to be entirely.

Meet me on the beach tonight. Wear what I have bought for you.

Tu sei la luce che mi porta attraverso la notte. Ti amo, bellezza.

[In the darkness before dawn, a letter will be carefully slipped onto Noctis' pillow. How exactly does he keep getting in and out anyway? Hard to tell. But it will be there waiting for him when he awakes, the seal that Ezio had used previously making it all too obvious who it is from.]

My Love -

It is late and although I am laying here alone, you are never far from my thoughts. You linger there, even when I try to push you from them. I wonder if it is that you simply belong there, if I have given my mind over to you as I have my heart.

It seems so strange that I would love you as I do. You are so very different from anyone I have ever known. But perhaps that was what I needed. Perhaps that is why you have been better for me than any of others.

Why I love you more than I loved them.

I can not explain it. I do not think there are words for it. For a love as strong as the one I feel for you.

I have often wished to return home. To my mother and my sister. But it would feel empty if you were not there. Like a piece of my soul was missing, and I do not think I could bear to live without it.

If it means we must stay here, then so be it. If that is what it takes to keep you at my side, then I will suffer this fate forever.

At times, the mark which you have left upon me aches. Deep within my chest and upon my throat. And I remember that you carry the same one. That when I feel the emptiness of the missing weight upon my wrist, it is because it sits on yours.

I miss you. That I can not have you with me always - that I desire it is a selfish thing. But I do. I do.

Sei l'amore che ho desiderato per tutta la mia vita. Sono caduto così profondamente dentro di te che non potrò mai raggiungere il fondo.

Ti amo, bello.

- Ezio

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∞ For Noctis

April 30th; Letter;

May 3rd; Letter;

May 17th, Letter