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And I thought I was a terrible liar...

[His teasing doesn't hold the mirth it usually does, but Leonardo does try a bit of a wry smile as he brings Ezio to sit. Suddenly, Ezio shifts and places his head in Leonardo's lap, and Leonardo can't help but fall silent. Perhaps it's because he doesn't want to ruin this little moment they're having, perhaps it's to let Ezio talk, but either way he silently sits there with his friend, fingers idly reaching to gently comb and detangle the strands of long dark hair.]

You cannot choose with whom you fall in love, Ezio. That makes you no more a fool than it makes poor Psyche a fool. If only I could change it, I would, but love is... unpredictable.

[Leonardo catches himself staring into Ezio's eyes for just a little too long, and he quickly looks away to his hand's work instead. Are his cheeks pink? They might be a little pink.]

Please... tell me... what happened?

[He could not picture 2B doing anything to upset Ezio, so surely this couldn't be about her, could it?]

[Feeling Leonardo's fingers move so gently through his hair is calming, soothing in a way so little else was. It reminded him so of how his mother used to care for him when he was ill or sad. A small comfort when his chest ached and his muscles felt weak.

His head rolled back as his friend spoke, leaning into his stomach as he peered upwards. Only to catch the way Leonardo peered back at him, staring into his eyes and then glancing away far too quickly.

But it was something to be mentioned later. There was already too much boiling in his troubled mind.]

She does not love me, Leonardo. She is only doing what her programming tells her to.

Cazzate!

[The word comes out of his mouth awfully fast, almost as if Leonardo was insulted by the insinuation. ~~don't sink his ship!!~~]

Perhaps I spoke too early on the foolishness. [His teasing tone is punctuated by Leonardo gently tweaking Ezio's nose with his free hand, as an older brother might. Then he settles his arm loosely on Ezio's chest while his other hand continues combing through Ezio's hair. It's like a proto-hug, in a way, and he hopes it's comforting for Ezio.]

What makes you say that she does not love you? I can see no indication she does not.

[The sudden outburst has him rolling onto his back, just in time to have his nose tweaked softly, and for Leonardo to admit that he may have been a bit too hasty in his assumption that he wasn't foolish.

Hand coming up to rub gently at his nose - more for show than out of any real pain - before his arm fell down over the one currently wrapped about his chest, keeping it close to his heart.]

She would have the same affections for any human. She has been programmed to love us. They all have.

I don't quite understand. When you say "programmed", you mean... she is being made to do things, somehow? Like the Apple?

[It's really the context clues that are tipping him off to what being programmed might mean. He still doesn't quite understand androids and their capabilities, how they're made, and so on... and frankly he'd been too afraid of insulting 2B to ask.]

But that is simply not true. I doubt she treats you and I the same.

[The sex is probably fantastic, but Leonardo wouldn't know. He's never had an interest in women.]

[The sex is phenominal. Like on a scale from zero (0) would absolutely never bang again to ten (10) would bang every minute of every day it's like a solid eleven (11) where he wants to live between her leg's.

That's probably too much information. Definitely too much information. Poor Leonardo.]

Here. It would be easier to show you.

[He shifts a little, slipping his hand into his pocket to retrieve his cube phone, fingers pressing at the screen to pull up the conversation he'd had with 9S before handing the device to Leonardo.]

[Phenomenal sex or no, Leonardo's pretty sure he's not going to get any of it. And he's also pretty sure Ezio wouldn't know what to do down there if there wasn't a vagina attached.

The artist pores over the text conversation, analytical mind categorizing and processing every word with the same lightning speed he used for the Codex cyphers. He finishes the conversation, therefore, mere moments after Ezio hands him the phone, and Leonardo hands it back with a deep sigh. His logical left brain now done with its work, his empathic right brain sees the miscommunications between 9S and Ezio from both sides. It's upsetting it had to come to this, and Leonardo hopes he can resolve it before Ezio has to deal with, God forbid, another Cristina.]

Caro mio... 9S has said it himself. He has free will. They all do. That alone means that the love 2B has for you is because of you, and not because of your humanity. Can't you see that? She loves you!

[He recognizes the look on her face, the giddiness in her step, the nervous energy in her body when she looks at Ezio. Leonardo has experienced the exact same thing.]

[Um, first of all excuse you if you honestly think he's never used his own hand. Second of all -

- There is no second of all, but trust and believe he knows what to do with the D. Thank you very much.

He's clueless about the rest though please help him.

Ezio is going to sigh rather loudly, rolling over to bury his face into Leonardo's lower stomach as he listens to him speak.]

That is what Lucrezia said as well.

[Leonardo please keep this from being another Christina the entire world might end.]

And you believe neither of us would tell you the truth? You trust neither of our judgments on this?

[He's getting pretty blatant here, almost bordering on rude, but Leonardo's point still stands.]

Listen for a moment. Follow the logic of this with me. You have seen 2B interact with the both of us, yes? And though she clearly has a love for humanity much like my own, she does not love me in the same way as she loves you. She does not wait for me to come home, she does not look at me the same way... she does not move to embrace me. Therefore, she does not love according to this "programming", so it must be something else that drives her feelings. And I would suspect that something is as simple as affection for you, as an individual. You have... quite a way about you, you know.

[His gaze holds a bit more than just simple friendliness, for one fleeting moment.]

Regardless... I would speak with her about this, were I in your situation. I would seek her out and sit down with her, and talk. And furthermore I would apologize sincerely to her for keeping her waiting for me all night long, and to her friend for snapping at him over something he could not have ever known about your family. But that is all I can give you, is advice. It is up to you what course of action you take when you leave my chambers, fratellino.

[Speaking of which... while Ezio's face is still buried in his stomach, Leonardo is going to quietly mass text 2B and 9S with his cube phone, sending only the words:

Ezio is with me. I am speaking with him now. Please be patient.]

Yesterday was such a happy occasion for you both. I would very much loathe seeing that much joy fall into despair over a misunderstanding.

[Leonardo is right.

Ezio is fully, completely, utterly aware that Leonardo is right. Even if he hadn't come to know Lucrezia as he had, even if he thought she might not tell the truth, Leonardo would never lie to him. Not about something this important.

If it was at all humanly possible for him to bury his face any deeper into Leonardo's stomach he would have done so now. But as it is he can already feel layers of clothing smushed beneath his face and the hard muscle beneath.]

I am an idiot.

[It's muttered, distorted against Leonardo's body, but still clear enough to be made out. He'll stay that way for a little while, laying still against his friend before finally shifting, rolling onto his face and glancing upwards.]

I will speak to her.

[Leonardo lets out a satisfied sigh as Ezio seems to get the message. Slowly, Leonardo leans back, just long enough for Ezio to move once again to laying on his back.]

But you are my idiot, Ezio Auditore. [To punctuate, Leonardo lightly pinches Ezio's cheeks like a mother might a young boy who's been caught misbehaving.] I am glad you have finally come to your senses, fratellino.

[Leonardo then brushes the hair out of Ezio's face with his hand, shifting forward just long enough to leave a small kiss on his friend's forehead. Affection has always been Leonardo's strong suit, and it shows as he continues to coddle his friend despite the bit of chastising he'd given Ezio earlier.]

Good, see that you do. I... Ezio, I truly, desperately want you to be happy. You seem so happy to be with her. I want nothing more for you than that joy.

[Something strange sparks within him as Leonardo proudly proclaims him as his, even if it is accompanied by referring to him as an idiot. Something he doesn't quite understand, different from how it might feel to have his mother or sister refer to him as such. And not so far from how it might fear to have another call him as such.

But he pushed the feeling down and away, burying it deep for the time being. There were far more important things to deal with at the moment. Like the best he'd made with his love, with his 2B.]

That is all I want for you as well, fratello mio.

[Slowly, he pushed himself upwards, pressing each palm against his eyes, rubbing them carefully before shifting to move from the bed completely.]

Grazie, Leonardo. Once more you have saved me from myself. I fear the day you begin charging for the service.

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